Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Mommy Truth Diaries: 10 truths that I have learned so far

Just because it's pretty.
Becoming a mom has been the best thing in my life, but it has also been the hardest. When you are a new mom you get all sorts of advice from everyone and anyone. Some is appreciated, some not so much, but you get accustomed to getting advice. I have gotten my share of advice, but as I sit here and ponder all of the advice that has been shared with me throughout the 3 1/2 years of being a mom I realized there is just some advice that I never received. So I am starting a series called "The Mommy Truth Diaries". I will be sharing with you truths that I have learned that no one told me about when I became a mom. Hope you are ready for these.

1. Phrases will come out of your mouth that you never ever thought you would have to say to anyone. "We don't lick people." "Don't stick your toothbrush up your nose." "Don't eat that Cheerio that has been stuck in your car seat for the last 6 months."

2. Belly laughs are the very best thing in the world. EVER! Yep, as hard as it is to say they are even better than chocolate.

3. Never take a toddler into a toy store and expect to come out unscathed. Just don't do it. You will end up in one of two situations A. You end up buying a toy after you have said no 20,000 times just to stop (or prevent) the tantrum or B. You will end up sticking to your guns and not buying a toy but that results in your child screaming, going limp, and having to be carried out of the store as everyone is staring at you with "that look" on their faces. We have experienced the latter and let me tell you that is no fun.

4. Mommy cannot sing Han's part on the Frozen soundtrack because "mommy you are not a boy." Yep I get denied the duet until she decides that she doesn't want to sing by herself.

5. As you are walking to your car in the Target parking lot she will yell at the top of her lungs "Watch where you are going you crazy driver"at the lady who has her windows down and has stopped to let you cross in front of her. Yep, that happened.

6. The best hugs are the random ones. She will stop what she is doing just to come and give me a hug. She did this at swimming lessons the other day. I don't think the teacher liked it, but it made me smile and made it look like I had peed myself.

7. They will try to get away with saying swear words even when they know better. Ashlyn has stumped us by coming up to us randomly and saying "We don't say son of a bitch (or whatever naughty word is on her mind). Nope that is a naughty word and we don't say that." We are at a loss right now as to how to get her to quit doing this. Can't really punish her because she is stating a fact that you shouldn't say it, but on the other hand she is saying it. Yep, they will out wit you sometimes.

8. You will miss changing diapers when you are out on a walk half way around the lake with no bathroom in sight and your potty trained 3 1/2 year old tells you they are going to pee their pants. Lets just say our first pee in the weeds did not go so well.

9. Distractions on the way to the bathroom will almost always lead to potty accidents. I am talking anything. The teddy bear she left in the hallway that all of a sudden needs to go in her room and have a tea party with Sophia the First. The box of band aids that was laying on the bathroom counter that right this second needs to be dumped out on the bathroom floor and sorted by size before she can sit on the potty. The piece of fuzz that has been sitting in the hallway all week but is now all of a sudden so bothersome that she has to throw it away before going to the bathroom. Yep as Ashlyn says "Accidents happen mommy."

10. You will realize how funny the English language can be sometimes. "Ashlyn get ready we need to go run some errands." "We are going to Erin's?" "No, we have to go to a couple of stores." "And then we are going to Erin's?" "Nope we are just going to some stores" P.S. She doesn't know anyone named Erin.

Now I know there are lots of moms out there with a lot more experience than I have, so I for sure do not have all of the answers. Honestly I am just glad I have kept her alive for a whole 3 1/2 years, but I just wanted to share some of the things that have happened to us that we never received advice about in the beginning.

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